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It all started when our overrated adventurer, Yellow Boo, woke up in a bush. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly exasperated, Yellow Boo poked a carrot, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Absolutely thrilled, he realized that his beloved weed was missing! Immediately he called his so-called best friend, Rev. Yellow Boo had known Rev for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were exotic ones. Rev was unique. He was clever though sometimes a little... oafish. Yellow Boo called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Rev picked up to a very unhappy Yellow Boo. Rev calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths belch before mating, yet venomous koalas usually scandalously yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Yellow Boo. Why was Rev trying to distract Yellow Boo? Because he had snuck out from Yellow Boo's with the weed only nine days prior. It was a sassy little weed... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Yellow Boo got back to the subject at hand: his weed. Rev yawned. Relunctantly, Rev invited him over, assuring him they'd find the weed. Yellow Boo grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Rev realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the weed and he had to do it randomly. He figured that if Yellow Boo took the time machine, he had take at least seven minutes before Yellow Boo would get there. But if he took the Bike? Then Rev would be abundantly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Rev was interrupted by three insensitive camels that were lured by his weed. Rev sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he thoughtfully reached for his ripened avocado and aggressively slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Bike rolling up. It was Yellow Boo.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a inept leap, Yellow Boo was out of the Bike and went flamboyantly jaunting toward Rev's front door. Meanwhile inside, Rev was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the weed into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his rhinocerus. Rev was pleased but at least the weed was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Rev sassily purred. With a careful push, Yellow Boo opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted self-righteous ass in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Rev assured him. Yellow Boo took a seat frighteningly close to where Rev had hidden the weed. Rev turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Yellow Boo was distracted. Ever so extemperaneously, Rev noticed a annoying look on Yellow Boo's face. Yellow Boo slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Rev felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Yellow Boo asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the weed right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A insensitive look started to form on Yellow Boo's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dangerous oil-soaked rags from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Yellow Boo nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Rev could react, Yellow Boo carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The weed was plainly in view.

Yellow Boo stared at Rev for what what must've been nine nanoseconds. Absolutely thrilled, Rev groped earnestly in Yellow Boo's direction, clearly desperate. Yellow Boo grabbed the weed and bolted for the door. It was locked. Rev let out a sassy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Yellow Boo,' he rebuked. Rev always had been a little selfish, so Yellow Boo knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Rev did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. As if it really mattered he gripped his weed tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Rev looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Yellow Boo. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Yellow Boo. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Rev walked over to the window and looked down. Yellow Boo was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Yellow Boo was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind Rev's place. Yellow Boo had severely hurt his love handle during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral camels suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the weed. One by one they latched on to Yellow Boo. Already weakened from his injury, Yellow Boo yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of camels running off with his weed.

About three hours later, Yellow Boo awoke, his ear throbbing. It was dark and Yellow Boo did not know where he was. Deep in the lonely swamp, Yellow Boo was exceedingly lost. Just as zero people expected he remembered that his weed was taken by the camels. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a bloated camel emerged from the disease-infested jungle. It was the alpha camel. Yellow Boo opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the camel sunk its teeth into Yellow Boo's prostate. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Yellow Boo's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than ten miles away, Rev was entombed by anguish over the loss of the weed. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dull pencil. With a heroic thrust, he buried it deeply into his taint. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Yellow Boo... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the weed that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant camels, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

Dot Slider ha scritto:

Yellow Boo ha scritto:

Dot Slider ha scritto:

Hai fatto male.

SuperMarioThree ha scritto:Che roba è?